Melissa's words to Mulder in one of their conversations together this hour echo my feelings about this episode. This was visually beautiful episode with sweeping dramatic appeal that failed to capture me because it was, at the center, I feel, rather empty. For one, if I am to really care whether or not Mulder and the woman who is his soulmate can find and keep each other, I need more development of their relationship. Where did this woman come from, anyway? Secondly, I felt that the dynamic between Mulder and Scully was misrepresented. And thirdly, Mulder reached what seemed an all time selfish high in this episode as he tries to get answers from a woman who is being victimized and used by Ephesian, the leader of an cult of Jonestown, which hindered my ability to feel his supposed pain at the loss of this woman and his angst at the direction of his life (which I usually find rather affecting).
This is not to say there were no nice moments or strong performances. Gillian Anderson (who, may I add, looked exceptionally beautiful this episode) gives us a strong Scully who is furious with Mulder for pursuing his quest at the expense of not himself this time, but an innocent woman who has already been victimized. Her statement that "I don't believe you feel responsible for those 50 lives" as they argue their course of action was right on. Their fight in the car (that was about the angriest I have ever seen them) was very well acted on the part of both leads; the air between them crackled. Conversely, Scully's assurance that she "would not change a day" was a magical little moment of caring and levity between the Dynamic Duo in an otherwise very serious hour. Her expressions of sadness and concern listening to Mulder's hypnosis were powerful as well. Kristen Clocke was wonderful to me as every personality of Melissa's but Sydney. I found her scrunched-up face and and constant sniffing at the air very distracting. But she was excellent as the other personalities Melissa had. I especially loved her Confederate widow. The moment where Mulder finds her dead was powerful. Duchovny has a lot of close ups and makes the most of them.
I felt lulled by the visual beauty of the episode even as I rolled my eyes and muttered "Field of Dreams" (much like I kept shouting "WACO" at the plot). I loved the poetic feel to the writing and wanted to love the main theme of this episode, which was Mulder' quest for the Truth and the lengths he will go to for it. This was evidenced Mulder's line to Melissa, his supposed soulmate for the hour, "No life would be pointless," This is what he wants to know more than anything; it is what drives him. I generally like this aspect to his character, as it gives some tangible explanation as to why he does chase those little green men. It is really the answers he is chasing. I can relate to that. But in order for me to really be wrecked by his loss of this woman (presumably a devastating one for him) I needed to care more about their relationship, and frankly, about him. This seemed too selfish even for Mulder; Scully was right to call him on it. I do not say that Mulder should not be portrayed as selfish; he can be and Duchovny generally does not flinch from that (he didn't flinch at all here). But I felt that it was a mistake in an episode that, I assume, wanted me to feel for him. I will give Duchovny some credit for a couple of fleeting looks of guilt, I suppose. But I was just not convinced, completely anyway, that Mulder cared about Melissa and wanted to be reunited with her. He wanted his answers. As Scully said, he was responsible only to himself. How romantic can I possibly consider that? Perhaps it was my serious doubt that any continuation of this would happen that hindered my ability to lose myself in this episode, as well. These character revelations, which I live, for should change them forever. Somehow I just knew they wouldn't. Mulder and Scully will (and did, actually, as I get to point out in a Retro!Review) go on like none of this ever happened. How affected can I possibly be? I couldn't get it out of my head that "eternity" would end next week. If I am to believe that Mulder has discovered his soulmate, I need to know that this will change them. How could it not?
My other main problem with this episode was what I felt to be a misrepresentation of Mulder and Scully's relationship. In his regression scene, Mulder refers to Scully as his "soldier". This bothered my deeply. She is nothing but his Ex O now, after all this time and all he has done for her? And perhaps more to the point, she for him? She has not yet "earned" the status of full partner? I think not? In her review, Sarah Stegall said that to "portray her as a repressed but smoldering beauty...instigator of more angst in his life than any other woman since Samantha and then...reduce her to everlasting second banana is ridiculous." My sentiments exactly. If this did not feel like the Mulder and Scully I have come to know and love, I could not quite care as much. I don't say that the writers should never experiment with who Mulder and Scully are and what their relationship is like. But in an episode that could have been so wrenching and dramatic, to have to characterization feel off took me right out of the story.
Mulder's regression scene felt off to me in general, actually. I will give Duchovny credit for his best effort, but somehow all the sudden shifts of emotion threw me. I just didn't believe it was Mulder. Since when, for example, did he change his theories to suit Skinner?
All that said, I was surprised to find the ending rather satisfying. I love circular endings in general, and this helped focus me on what I felt was the point of this episode: "the goal in sight again." This help me understand better why Mulder had done all he did in this episode-- to find his answers about the Truth that is perpetually "out there" and never really attainable. "There is no time to be doing this," Scully tells him. "Wouldn't you? Wouldn't anybody?" Perhaps so.... I was grateful to end on a note that at least had him determined to continue his quest.
I give this episode an 8 (maybe, *maybe* and 8.5) out of ten.
SWILS Note: Scully's eyes really stood out to me in this episode.
Mulder Drooling: To be honest, I didn't do a lot of drooling in this one. But I will say, those fleeting looks of guilt I mentioned were quite cute.